30 September 2008

Why do I have such a hard time with this?

When I was growing up, we didn't have a lot of money. Thank goodness my Mom can sew, otherwise I'm thinking that my sister and I would have been chilly a lot of the time. We had the basics, but nothing extra. My parents didn't even have cable TV until I graduated from high school.

My Mom is a really great lady. One thing that I noticed about her when we were kids was that she never had anything new for herself. If there was extra money and one of us kids had a need, it went toward that. Mom never spent any money on herself. She had clothes and shoes and all of that, but it was really only new on her birthday or at Christmas.

I find myself doing the same thing. A bit of extra money comes in and my first thought is what the boys or J needs. This fall it was pants for M and shoes for C. I did get a pair of jeans, but only because I was down to two and that wouldn't work having to be out of the house during the week. And I spent $20 and it was HARD! I'd much rather that it have gone toward something for the family, at least.

Had my birthday earlier this week, the big 3-4. Yikes. Anyhow, my parents and grandparents give me birthday money and sometimes my in-laws do as well. I went after work to cash the checks at the credit union and now I have a fair amount of money in my purse. To spend on ME. How the hell do I do that?!?

Maybe this needs to be part of putting myself first. Maybe I need to get out and spend the money just on MYSELF and get over the fact that it could be put it a "better" use.

It may take some time for me to come up with an idea for a "worthy" purchase.

No comments: