Why do I have such a hard time with this?

When I was growing up, we didn't have a lot of money. Thank goodness my Mom can sew, otherwise I'm thinking that my sister and I would have been chilly a lot of the time. We had the basics, but nothing extra. My parents didn't even have cable TV until I graduated from high school.

My Mom is a really great lady. One thing that I noticed about her when we were kids was that she never had anything new for herself. If there was extra money and one of us kids had a need, it went toward that. Mom never spent any money on herself. She had clothes and shoes and all of that, but it was really only new on her birthday or at Christmas.

I find myself doing the same thing. A bit of extra money comes in and my first thought is what the boys or J needs. This fall it was pants for M and shoes for C. I did get a pair of jeans, but only because I was down to two and that wouldn't work having to be out of the house during the week. And I spent $20 and it was HARD! I'd much rather that it have gone toward something for the family, at least.

Had my birthday earlier this week, the big 3-4. Yikes. Anyhow, my parents and grandparents give me birthday money and sometimes my in-laws do as well. I went after work to cash the checks at the credit union and now I have a fair amount of money in my purse. To spend on ME. How the hell do I do that?!?

Maybe this needs to be part of putting myself first. Maybe I need to get out and spend the money just on MYSELF and get over the fact that it could be put it a "better" use.

It may take some time for me to come up with an idea for a "worthy" purchase.

Finally. It's Friday!

Ever have one of those weeks that drags on for ever and ever? I did. Thank GOD that today is the end of that.

Some weeks I think that my gig at the school is too good to be true; no fights, no injuries, no tattling. This week however, a completely different story. We just finished the fourth week of school and you'd think that today was the first day. Man. About half of one of the second grade rooms ended up on the wall for noon recess; seems that they had trouble turning their voices off at the sound of the whistle. And second graders know the rules. It's not like the rules changed over the summer.

The paraprofessional in charge of lunch and recess, Mrs. M, told me yesterday that "the grace period is OVER." Now we start cracking down even on the Kindergarteners on things like sitting nicely at lunch and NOT running up the slide. Oh, and a whole host of other rules too.

K-2 particularly was so loud this noon that I could barely hear myself think. Most of the week, the kids all acted like they do the day before a long vacation.

As far as a vacation, we don't see one of those until the end of October. Lord, help us all.

Maybe I discovered a "key".

C's behavior at school has left quite a bit to be desired the last week or so. Last week when he and I were both in the principal's office after lunch, part of his punishment was that I made him go to bed one hour early. The next day, he did quite a bit better in the classroom.

Yesterday, the first thing that M reports is that the bus driver had to talk to C in the morning about his conduct on the bus. Now, this is part of the "lecture" that I give to him every morning before school; "keep your hiney seated on the bus until you get to school.......Mrs. F (his teacher) is the boss so you need to listen to her and do what she says......"yadda, yadda, yadda. EVERY DAY. So, I have to lecture C about "what did I say???". Then I find a note from his teacher that he didn't behave properly during work time, ie: making noises, not working, talking.

Needless to say, after I yelled like a crazy woman and took away a den meeting for Cub Scouts, he spent the rest of the evening in his room and was in bed by 7:30.

At lunch time, he is very anxious to report that his "clip stayed on 'Great' all morning". Same goes for the day after the last time I had to send him to bed early. Hmmm. Maybe he hasn't been getting enough sleep.

We'll try an 8:00 bedtime tonight and see. That's provided that he had a good afternoon, of course.

Time goes so quickly.

We had a pretty busy weekend. Unfortunately, J was the victim of a raging stomach ailment, so he missed out on most of the action this weekend. I felt bad for him, but it was best that he rest and stay close to a bathroom and not expose anyone else to whatever it was he had. (Fortunately, he was able to get up for work this morning, so maybe he is on the mend.)

M had a soccer game at noon on Saturday. For a Saturday in late September, it was pretty warm outside. M's team won 5-0 and the fourth goal was scored by him. He was pretty pleased with himself and of course, I was also. It was the first time that he scored a goal in quite a few seasons; I think that he was in 3rd grade for his last one. He did get a bit emotional when the game was over when he realized that his dad missed seeing him score, but he is an understanding kid and knew that it was best for J to be at home.

My mother and father-in-law and my sister in law, K and her 2 kids and brother in law, J and his daughter were all in attendance for most of the second half of the game. I guess they all came in one vehicle except J and S, and while they parked in the correct lot of the soccer complex, they went right by the field where M was playing. And all I could do is watch them go; they were at least 100 feet from me and TOTALLY not looking for me; they were looking for and not finding J. By the time they get to me, my mother-in-law says something like "did you see us go by?" and my only response was "yeah, but what could I do?" After soccer, they took the boys out for lunch and to the park.

Yesterday was the occasion of J's nephew S's baptism. It's nice to get together with the other side of my brother-in-law's family; his wife's family are great people. Of course, J missed out on this too; I felt really badly for him. The service was really nice and Jason gave a great sermon. For my favorite brother-in-law, he's a pretty good preacher too. I enjoy hearing him speak. A and her mom put on a great spread of food, and there were plenty of cousins and friends to keep the boys occupied.

While I greatly enjoy weekends like these, it sure does make Monday come fast.

And it starts......

M started trumpet lessons today for 6th grade band. Lord, help my ears. I am sure that he will do a great job, as long as I have the patience to give him time. What helps me is that I am sure that I tested my Mom's patience when I started learning the clarinet in grade school and she didn't even threaten to wrap my instrument around a tree. But then again, I had a basement room also. Maybe that is the difference. And maybe we need to get one of those bell muffler things over the weekend. I'll check with J and see what he thinks.

C was in trouble today. He did great in the classroom all day and let it loose at recess. He wasn't the instigator, but he did retaliate in a way that was unacceptable. So, he and the instigator will spend at least recess time on Monday doing projects with the principal to "build community", as he put it. And then C will be with him on Tuesday and maybe on Wednesday, or as long as it takes for C to learn that his resolution to the problem was not appropriate. I love the boys' principal; he's a very firm but understanding guy. He told me that he knew that C isn't a bad kid, that he just needs to learn the boundaries of acceptable versus unacceptable behavior when put in a position like he was today. I vented some of my frustrations with C's behavior at the principal, I cried, and he gave me a tissue. He told me not to worry; that he doesn't have a "throw C to the dogs" attitude and that everything will be fine. I just pray he's right, or it'll be a long time until 2020.

I am still feeling under the weather and it's been 19 days. I was to the doctor this week for him to tell me that it is indeed viral and that it will have to run its course and that I'm "doing everything right". That was frustrating; and as I sit here, my throat and ears *still* hurt. Grrrr.

So, here's an update.

Labor Day morning, I wake up feeling very ill. The room is spinning and I have a fever of nearly 100 degrees. Thank goodness that J was home for the day; he kept the boys occupied while I slept. And slept. And ate pizza for dinner, and slept.

Tuesday morning I was feeling a little better. At least the room had stopped spinning. It was about 90 degrees that afternoon and I needed to take the boys over to meet their new teachers. It's only a quarter of a mile from my front door to the front door of the school, but I wasn't feeling that great. We had no choice but to walk, due to the fact that there is such limited parking at the school. We met both teachers, dropped off all the supplies and walked home. As soon as I got home, I took a nap.

Wednesday was the first day of school. I had breakfast with my friend, Stephanie and then had to be to work by 10:30. Armed with a new pack of Kleenex and a bottle of hand sanitizer, off I go. One of the other supervisors gives me crap about being sick and I fire back something about being glad to be out of bed. That shut her up. I also watched Corbin on Wednesday. He got here with his Mom about five minutes after I got home from school. He had a giant meltdown at drop off, but then as soon as his dad showed up at 5:00, he didn't want to go.

By Thursday, I'm starting to feel a little better. They warn about not taking dayquil and nyquil around the clock, but I had no choice; that was the only way to feel even half human. Friday morning I have to call in sick to work. I have no voice and my nose has started bleeding at random and won't stop. Great. Oh, and my right eye is oozing green gunk. Super. I went back to bed a little after 8am and didn't wake up until almost 2pm.

Saturday, I just kinda lay around the house and watch college football. My teams pulled off wins, so that's always nice. I sat through M's first soccer game of the season. I don't remember much except that J's brother and family showed up. And I probably came off as rude because I felt so sick. Later in the day, I drug myself to the restaurant to celebrate M's twelfth birthday, and turned in early; even before C at 9pm.

Sunday meant church and then more football. It was the first day that I felt that I could skip a dose of medicine without dying. My in laws came by last night to give M a birthday present and all my mother in law can say is how sick I look. Gee thanks. Your son gave it to me; blame him.

Today I am feeling about 80% better. I've still had some medicine, and it still feels like C is sitting on my chest, but it is progress. I started taking chewable vitamin C sometime during all of this and I am convinced that it has helped. I plan to continue to take it all school year.

I know I should have blogged all this time, but I just couldn't. Maybe by 2020 when I can be sick without interruption.

Maybe.