ain't it grand

***WARNING!!  This may not be the post to read if you just ate, are planning to do so soon or have any kind of weak stomach!!*** You've been warned!  bwaaaahaaahaaa.

When I was growing up, we had to live survived by a certain rule.

"No puke or diarrhea, no fever- go to school."

Let me tell you that I am not one of my oldest child's  favorite people lately because of that rule.  And you know what?  I don't really care that Mr HomeRoom said that you need to stay home if you don't feel well- take some Pepto and go to school. Not to mention that I have already received an official letter from the office letting me know that he has already missed too many days of school this semester.  And we're just short of two months into the school year.

Several hours go by and no "come and get me" call, so I figure we are in the clear.  Imagine my surprise when around 12:45, I get a call, but it's to go and get the youngest boy.

His teacher will probably never tell him that he "can't" use the restroom ever again.

The call goes like this:
Caller: "This is Mary, from L****** school.  I'm calling because C has had an accident."
Me: "Oh?"
Mary: "I helped him into some clean clothes, but his teacher says that you need to come and get him because he needs a shower."
Me: "Do you know if I am expected to return him to school today?"
Mary: "That would be up to you."

Poor kid, he is so embarrassed.  When I tell him that it's time to go, he tries to tell me that he needs to go upstairs and get his stuff.  I'm not really hearing that so I say "We'll just get it later."

Then I look at the poor secretary and say, "Well, of it's all the same to you, I think that I'll just keep him home for the remainder of the day."

She smiles and tells me that that would be fine.

First order of business once we are home is that everything he's wearing or carrying in a plastic bag needs to go into the wash.  And then he needs to get into as hot a shower as he can stand.  He walks his completely naked self into the bathroom, I supervise that shower and the getting into fresh pjs.

Then true to form, he asked me for a snack.

Did I mention that this is probably not going to get me nominated for Mother of the Year?  For sure.  And why not?

I wasn't thinking when I let him have raisin bran AND a banana the previous morning for breakfast.  Explosion city.

That's okay; I don't have any room for a tiara on my nightstand anyway.