11 June 2009

Risky Business

This week has been loaded for me. I've reached a realization that a certain friendship of mine is over. They just run their course sometimes, don't they?

I'm just tired of being the one to initiate the contact. And we haven't talked in almost 2 months. And we've reached the point where maybe she is feeling the same as I am, and it's over. Part of me is sad- we had a lot of fun for 6 years- and part of me is relieved to not have to deal with it anymore. It just got too hard. Friendships aren't supposed to be a burden, are they?

And then through the "wonder" that is Facebook, I've found my best friend from high school. Except that we had a falling-out during my junior year (over MY boyfriend) and really haven't spoken since. We didn't go to the same school or even live in the same town, so the break wasn't that hard. Until I ended up at the same college as she did and I'd catch a glimpse of her across campus from time to time.

I messaged her on FB back a few months ago, just to see if she'd reach out. She replied with a very generic message and so I thought that was it. And frankly, I was okay with it.

We have something like 20 friends in common, so occasionally she and I will end up in the same place with a comment for a mutual friend.

Then this week, it happened. She sent me a "friend request" with the message 'I thought we were 'friends' but I get this message that you only share info with certain people. LOL' For the record, she has almost 400 friends, so I'm surprised that she noticed my absence at all.

I hesitate to accept her request. And frankly, the reason why is kind of silly; shouldn't we have moved past this "boyfriend thing" by now? I mean, it was 1992, for God's sake! And I haven't seen her since 1994, but the whole thing just makes me sick to my stomach.

I have me some fabulous friends. (Yes, I know that was terrible grammar, and I don't care! LOL) IRL (in real life) and online, through blogging and message boards, there are people who I really treasure and feel blessed to know.

Why do the others make it so difficult? I *think* that starting new friendships is worth it; no one goes into something thinking 'Man, this could end really badly.' And on one hand, things like friendships end for a reason. Mostly when they no longer meet the needs of the parties involved. On the other hand, friendship is necessary and important and I guess, ultimately, worth the risk.

2 comments:

amanda said...

ahhh facebook. i've actually reconnected with some friends i had falling outs with as well. it's worth it!

Ethan, Zach, and Emma's Mom said...

So, so true. It's funny how you move through life, and the friendships you thought you'd never leave in High School just don't seem the same anymore. Life changes, we change, we grow, and some people don't. It's amazing how some people still make you feel like an awkward teenager--I've encountered the same on Facebook. How is it that a group of people get together, now, as adults, 7 hours away from me, and I still feel left out? Anywhoo, this is just to say, I'm glad you're my friend!