02 June 2011

How long DOES this take?

I work three days a week so standard dress is a blue collared shirt and tan pants. On August sixth, I started my job wearing a size 16 pants and a XL polo shirt; granted, the 16's were comfortable, getting used to being on my feet for long periods of time once again, I wanted to be comfortable.

If you have children, you've probably noticed that children's clothing sizes are not regulated. I feel like buying clothes for my boys can be a big guessing game and that's not saying anything about the rate at which they're both growing. 'Why don't they make shorts in slim, those are never gonna stay on his hips. And really, the last 4 pairs of jeans I bought you were an 18 and now the size 18 dress pants that cost forty dollars barely fit? Nice.'

All winter, I thought of my summer wardrobe and held out hope that just maybe I'd need new clothes if the weather ever warmed up. Plus, how many summers can a girl wear the same shorts anyway, I'm totally bored. When I visited my doctor for a physical on Feb. 22, I weighed in at 170, having spent at that point almost two months working out and eating less. Today, I can tell you that I am even more than ten pounds under that, but more importantly, I've lost inches pretty dramatically; more than NINE inches overall at last count since March 1st.

But I still hate shopping. Why? Size regulation. My "new" shirts for work are a 12/14 and a little too big and the pants I bought in March to replace the size 16's that were falling off of me (literally!) were a 14 but a totally different style. They're finally starting to feel big and that's nice, but here's the thing. I went shopping for shorts, capris and t-shirts this week and almost everything I brought home was a size ten and it all fits.

A TEN? Really? (I hadn't worn a size ten since summer of '04 and even then it was only for five minutes, I'm sure of it. Okay, maybe six minutes.)

Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled. I was happy beyond words to have picked up a pair of shorts in a 12 thinking that they may fit and having them be too big. The waist was ridiculously not right and I just had Jon return them last night when he went for detergent that I'd forgotten because I was far too distracted thinking that I was choosing all the wrong size. I was pulling items off the rack while completely consumed with how devastated I'd feel having to return to the store the next day and stand at the service desk with tears rolling down my face telling the overworked and underpaid clerk that I needed to exchange all these items for a larger size.

Seriously. See why I forgot detergent? I mean really, who can focus under such circumstances?

I'm apparently the talk of my store too. I made a comment yesterday to some coworkers about my recent clothes shopping experience and Casey* said "Yeah, I was just talking to Melody* the other day and said 'have you looked at Jen lately?' " When she said "I didn't know if I should comment on how much weight you've obviously lost since Christmas" I said, "Sure and say, 'Gosh, you were fat, at least you're less so now!", she looked at me, shocked, and said"Oh NO, I wouldn't say THAT!" (There's a picture of me (weighing somewhere close to 191) in the break room from December 11th when the jolly, big guy visited our store; I'm not proud of it, but it's a good visual reminder for me.)

I'm just wondering how much longer it'll be till what I see matches up with what is; it's been five months. I'm seeing little things so far, like less cellulite from the back and I'm actually starting to get my shape back in my torso, but to answer Casey's* question, no, I will not be donning a bikini this summer or any summer any time soon.

My brain still has to catch up. And with that, I'm off to do day 23 of 30-Day Shred. I *love* rockstar jumps, who knew!?!

*names have been changed to protect all, for now


DEB said...

You are such an inspiration. Thank you so much for blogging your journey, keeping it real, and being open with your struggles and triumphs. Slow and steady wins the race sweet friend!!! Keep up the amazing work.

DEB said...

You are such an inspiration. Thank you so much for blogging your journey, keeping it real, and being open with your struggles and triumphs. Slow and steady wins the race sweet friend!!! Keep up the amazing work.

The Dickson Family said...

I am so proud of you!!! It feels amazing, doesn't it? I haven't been a size 10 since...well, I can't remember. And I just bought a couple of size 10 pants at Goodwill. That's what losing 40 lbs. will do!! :-) So very proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!!! HUGS!

LutherLiz said...

Yay for a size 10. You are doing wonderful things - keep it up!

Wife of Keith said...

You are amazing! I'm so proud of you for keeping at this. It's truly a challenge!!
my shorts from when I got married are on me right now and I'm constantly hauling them up. I am choosing to just get by for awhile.
I'd like to just skip this current size and jump to the next. Problem is, this constant hauling up of the shorts is a bit annoying! :-)
good thing the only one that sees me the most is a 21 month old!

I love you girl. Thanks for being my inspiration in this crazy thing!