29 September 2010
Here's the deal. Just like in highschool, people still put on a front. They portray what it is that they think you want to see. Perfect body, perfect hair, perfect husband with perfectly obedient children.
"Hogwash", my grandpa would say.
And the following is where I get down and dirty. Read if you want, or stop here. Either is fine with me.
I'm so far from perfect that it's scary. (I better not hear my husband scream "AMEN" over cyber-space or he is DEAD.)
I carry around close to fifty pounds on my body that I don't need. I liked to blame it on pregnancy, but that kid is fourteen now. Even blaming his brother, that ship has sailed. I eat way too many sweets, not enough vegetables, drink too much fully-leaded coffee and I haven't been on the treadmill in weeks.
My husband sometimes drives me NUTS. He's sometimes a know-it-all who deserves to have his opinions shoved down his throat. But aside from that, and the fact that I sometimes feel like his mother and not his wife, we get along pretty well.
We have money worries, but really, who doesn't? Sometimes they keep me up at night; like losing sleep will add thousands of dollars to our bank account. Nope. Losing sleep just makes me cranky and then I yell at my children over every little thing and feel horribly about it for hours afterward.
Sometimes I wish the boys didn't fight so much. And while we're being real, sometimes I wish that we hadn't had children at all. But I feel guilty about that. A lot. To be able to travel to Paris or London or take in an African safari instead of having to constantly supply new pants and shoes to replace the outgrown ones would be heavenly.
Until my husband and I got sick of each other. Which would totally happen.
Our house is sometimes cold and drafty. I can't decorate at all and I haven't even finished painting the dining room, which I started in March. Some days I wish that we hadn't left Appleton at all.
But I have a couch to die for. Or so I've been told.
At times I am bored to tears in church service. Some weeks I hate the music, I hate the tradition, I hate the cliques. Even in our small congregation, that stuff gets in the way. The class I teach is most frequently only my kid, and I feel like I can teach the lessons at home, so why bother prepping for Sunday morning; but I do it anyway. While I'm in awe of what God has done for me, sometimes I'd just like to be able to sleep in on Sunday morning and treat it like any other day.
And my dad was a preacher while I was growing up. It's true.
Sometimes I'm terrified of losing my parents. My Mom especially. My brother and sister don't really like each other that much and I feel like Mom is what holds us together. So when the time comes that she isn't there anymore, what then? Will I never again have the chance to have all my neices and nephews in the same place at the same time?
I wish my siblings would put all the crap behind them. And as the oldest, I feel like I have this to say..."GROW UP". We're adults now, guys. Or at least we're supposed to be.
I spend the first 10 minutes of every day at my new job terrified that my boss will come to me and tell me that he's decided that I'm not really a good fit for the job after all. And I love my job, but there are already customers (and one coworker) who really get under my skin. The one woman who will find the ONE ITEM in the store with an incorrect sign and demand two of said item...she bugs the crap out of me.
Thankfully, I haven't seen her in a week or so. Of course, I'm sure that now I just jinxed myself.
And maybe we can't even afford to send the boys to state schools when the time comes. Maybe I know that in my head the college degrees that they work for will mean more to them, but I still feel guilty and a bit terrified that we won't be able to afford to help them at all.
And in addition to all the other things they'll blame me for, they'll blame me for that too.
28 September 2010
If only it worked that way.
I'm so blessed. I miss my family tremendously on my birthday, but I know that they are thinking of me. And I have amazing friends who send cards and greetings every year. That means a lot.
I have HUGE plans for today. I'm having coffee with Esther this morning while her daughter is at preschool. Then I plan to come home and sneak in a bit of a nap. Or at the very least, rest in the peace and quiet.
Then maybe I'll eat some ice cream. In the middle of the afternoon.
And finally, I'm going to enjoy dinner with my husband this evening.
Can't think of any better way to spend this day!
24 September 2010
I got the weekend off work but it'll be hardly restful. C and I leave in the morning for a missions event about two hours away. We should be home around six pm. Jon will take M to his nine-thirty soccer game in the morning. I hate missing soccer, but I promised C that I'd take him tomorrow. It's just one game.
Then Sunday will be my father-in-law's final service at the pulpit . I've lost track, but I think that it's over 40 years. And of course the family is getting together for that 9am service. We'll have to leave here around 6am to get there just in time.
I called my mom this morning to tell her that we weren't going to be able to visit for Thanksgiving. Again, I blame Walgreens. Something about "all hands on deck" for Black Friday.... I was sorta relieved that she didn't answer; it's easier to NOT cry to the voicemail. Oy.
Guess Jon got something booked for our anniversary. He sent me an email today that included the word "whirlpool". And I don't think he means the dishwasher. At least I hope not.
Tuesday is my birthday. I've got plans with my friend Esther for coffee in the morning and plans with Jon for dinner in the evening. In between, I may take a nap and eat some ice cream. It only happens once a year, after all.
Have a great weekend!
17 September 2010
Then, there was this post.
Guess some couldn't stand the suspense. I hadn't thought to ask permission initially to share what I'm about to tell you, so I had to leave you hanging while I sought out whether I was in the clear to divulge the secret.
Turns out, this part isn't a secret.
I shall leave you in suspense no longer, my dear friends.
My best friend's baby who will be born in early December is.......
another BOY! Woohoo!
15 September 2010
C told me this morning that his teacher has the same game that we have here. And she has the Clue Jr. books too. And she spent a lot of her own money for the things in her classroom. And her husband told her not to spend anymore, but she spent an additional $100 to repair the math books.
I said "Wow, she tells you guys everything, huh?"
I had dinner with my bf last night and her baby boy. He's almost 9 months old and so adorable. And as I mentioned in this post, I've known for only a couple of weeks that she's very pregnant with baby #2.
Now when she was pregnant with baby J last year, I could have possibly been the only one who didn't know that he was a boy. I'd simply asked her not to tell me, as I like that kind of surprise.
When we sat down to dinner last night, one of the first things I said was "So, did you find out the gender of this baby last week?" She said yes.
"And you're not gonna tell me?" She reminded me that I didn't want to know. Right. I like surprises.
I played with the baby the whole time we had dinner. When it was time for me to head home, she asked me to stay with J so she could run to the bathroom. No problem.
When she returned to the table, I said "Hey, I have a question. If I was to ask you if you'd tell me the new baby's gender, would you tell me, but keep the name a secret once you choose it?"
Obviously aliens had taken over my brain. Who am I?
She said "Sure"
I took a deep breath and said "Okay, tell me."
WHAT?? This is nuts! I don't really wanna know, do I?
When she said "It's a .....", I got so excited I started to cry.
I can't wait for the birth of the new baby!
13 September 2010
All the football teams we care about in this house posted wins over the weekend. That's exactly how it should be!
Worship was great yesterday, with the exception of my "technical difficulty". Seems that in our rush to get to church early for choir practice, I left my purse on the kitchen counter. That left me without my phone, without offering for Sunday School and most importantly, without my thumb drive containing the lyric powerpoint for worship. And we were over halfway to church when I said to Jon "Where's my purse?" Gah. I confessed my blunder to our music director who told me just to type in the selections not in the hymnal and that we'd just use the hymnal for the rest.
A copy of all my powerpoint files will find its way onto the desktop in the church office this next weekend. No crisis, but I was a bit nervous that on the very first weekend that I forgot the powerpoint in two years the district superintendent and his wife would be visiting. Yep. And Shawn Del didn't even fire me.
But on a positive note.....
I'm working two 11a-8p shifts this week, but the upside is that I get time to myself in the morning once everyone else is out of the house...to watch the news, slowly enjoy my coffee or write (or read) blog posts. That almost makes up for being at work till almost bedtime for Caleb.
10 September 2010
1. I apologize for the lateness of this post, but I worked the opening shift this morning and got home at 5pm. Then I changed clothes and made dinner, checked homework and spent some time with Jon and I'm finally getting the chance to sit at the laptop.
2. I'm back to teaching the first through third grade Sunday School class. I really enjoyed the first time around; had some great students, most of whom are either in middle school now or right on the verge of middle school. I feel a bit differently this time around; there aren't as many children in my class and one of them is my own. It's more challenging to teach with my own boy in the room. But it's gonna work out fine.
3. Speaking of work, every customer with a problem came in to the store today. Our manager just handles one problem at a time. But my favorite moment of the day was the lady who came in and bought a pack of Newport Light cigarettes in a box. When I asked her if she wanted a bag, she said no, that her husband was out in the truck and he doesn't know she smokes, so she'd just put them in her purse. Instead of chuckling, which I wanted to do, I just smiled and said "okay". I'm not sure what she was thinking.
4. I got my first full paycheck this week. And all but about a hundred dollars went to put new tires on the Honda the next morning. Easy come, easy go, I guess.
5. Come to find out this week, my best friend and her husband are expecting baby #2. The surprise comes in when I say that she just had an ultrasound this week that confirmed that the baby is already 25 weeks gestation instead of the 8-10 weeks the clinic staff thought. Baby J (#1) is gonna be a big brother before his first birthday! Crazy stuff, but I'm super pumped for another baby to get my fix!
6. Fall has arrived and I even made the first batch of potato soup this week. And had leftovers in my lunch at work this afternoon. I love fall; too bad I have to get a year older every time it comes around.
7. I had an irritating experience this week at a retail giant. And I won't be visiting that local establishment again. But that scored me some points with my boss, since that would potentially mean some more business for Walgreens. My discount on items is only an added bonus.
Have a great weekend!
06 September 2010
It's sometimes hard to believe that fourteen years ago today, I had my own personal labor day and gave birth to the most perfect six pound, six ounce little man. From the minute I held him, I was in love and he has never ceased to be the best thing that ever happened to me when I was the ripe old age of 21 years and 344 days.
(two days old- just sprung from St Vincent Hospital)
I've enjoyed watching him grow. I loved watching 'Pooh's Grand Adventure- the search for Christopher Robin' again and again. And again.
(nearly three, with his favorite blanket)
I cried when I left him on his first day of Kindergarten. I was the only one. He'd been home with me almost every minute since that warm September Sunday when we sprung him from the hospital and I wasn't ready for his independence. But he was and his teacher loved him.
(how is he ready for school already?...two days short of six years old)
He's a great big brother who lives life with an interesting mix of protecting Caleb and teaching him all he needs to know and wishing that Caleb would just go away.
Aren't all sibling relationships like that?
I'm proud that he's our son. I'm pleased at the smart, responsible, caring young man he's become. I'm more than thrilled that he loves Jesus with his whole heart, soul, mind and strength.
03 September 2010
He inquired, "Where have you been?"
God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."
God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"
"That's Wisconsin , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful rivers and streams, lakes, forests, and hills. The people from Wisconsin are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things. Champions shall come from here!"
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."
God smiled, "I will create Minnesota, wait till you see the clowns I put there. They will field a football team to provide entertainment; they will wear purple and play in a domed stadium."
Michael inquisitively asked, "Why a domed stadium?"
God chuckled and said, "You see Michael,...even I don't want to watch them play football."